What Is Counselling? 2017-02-25

Maybe you have thought about getting counselling. Then you thought what is it? Who needs it? You have heard people say you have to be "crazy" before you get counselling. 

Let's begin with the last sentence above. Most people realise now that being "crazy" is not a prerequisite to getting counselling. In fact, the term "crazy" is not used in the counselling field. Sometimes we may feel like we are going crazy just from feeling overwhelmed, but that is a normal feeling. If you have a fulltime job, 3 children, bills to pay and ill parents to take care, that might make anyone feel like they are losing their mind., when in actuallity it is just life happening all at once. Makes life not easy but it can be managed. 

So you ask, then what is counselling? Counselling can be many things but mostly it is a place for someone who is having a difficult time figuring things out, to go to for help. Mostly when someone comes to me i am here to listen. Much of our lives we may not feel heard and counselling is a place to feel that. I am definitely not here to judge anyone, but to help someone figure out what they can do to get their life back on an even keel. Counsellors are trained to listen closely and have developed tools that may help someone find their own answers. 

Who needs counselling? Anyone who feels the need to be listened to and be helped to find the answers for themselves. 

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What is a Relationship? 2017-08-04

What does a relationship mean to you? Most people may immediately think of a romantic relationship. That is natural. Under relationship issues on our counselling list that is the type of relationship we are talking about. But let's look at some the relationships we actually have in our lives. 

Let's begin with our brothers and sisters if we are not an only child. Those are life long relationships whether we are close with each other or not. They are our first relationships other than our parents. We learn so much about how to be in the world due to our interactions with our siblings. Sometimes our brother or sister is a positive role model and sometimes they aren't. They can be a negative role model where you watch their behaviour and know you don't want to do what they do. Maybe your sibling is great at everything and you feel less than. All those situations and many more happen. So this is obviously an important relationship in our lives.

The next important relationship we develop is our friendships. I can remember my firsst close friendship. Now that I have experience and academic knowledge I think I understand why we chose each other. I won't go into detail, but suffice it to say we needed each other. We were great friends for several years. So why are friendships so important? They help us to learn about social norms and the importance of understanding another person. Helping them through rough times and enjoying the good times. Some of us may have only one close friend at a time and others have many friends. Also, believe it or not, some people never understand how to develop friendships. 

The next relationship usually has to do with work. How do we get on with our colleagues and our boss? Of course, our relationships with our colleagues are different from our relationship with our boss, but hopefully our childhood relationships have helped us understand the process of developing these work related relationships.

Now, the most important relationship we have until we find our life partner is our parents. They are the ones who teach about love or not, about loyalty or not, about integrety or not. I put it this way because every relationship with parents is different just as each child's relationship is different with their parents even if just a little. Each child has a different experience due to the fact that the parents have gone through their own developmental changes which affects how they interact with each child. An example could be that the first child had healthy, exuberant parents and the 3rd child may have a parent who is ill which affects the family dynamics. Parents are our role models in how to be in the world and who we look for in a romantic relationship. Our parents are our most important relationship in our lives. 

There are many more minor relationships in our lives that effect who we become and how we deal with life's circumstances. The most important thing to remember is that we are the masters of our lives. Only we can make them what we want. 

Have a great day, 

Eddie and Nancy

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What is addiction? 2017-10-22

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What is anxiety? 2017-10-29

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